(From my fb chat inbox and it is a true conversation. Ask any given Nigerian male who lives abroad and they will tell you the same thing.)
. let's assume the name to be Stacie and what I thought
at the time but didnt say I will put in bracket.
Stacie :Long time no chat
Ena : How we go do?
Stacie: You in America right?
Ena : somehow somehow
Stacie :What is somehow somehow
Ena :Its Warri-speak for yes.
Stacie: I have a favour to ask.
Ena (Chei. I done enter again. which one be favour now? Make I no
assume) What is the favour?
Stacie :Promise me you will grant it
Ena: haba na! What ifu say I shld recircumcise myself? I have to hear it
first oh. Ehen.
Stacie: lwkmd. U always me andmy sisters laugh on facebook. we always go
to ur page.
Ena: Really? . (ehen make we dey talk dey go so she fit forget favour
wey she want ask)
Stacie: yes. you are very funny. u shld go into comedy
Ena :thank u (ehen dey gist dey go)
Stacie: I want u to send me an ipad
Ena:(make e no be like i run. make I still gist small) ipad? What do u
need an ipad for?
Stacie:Everyone has it except me
Ena: Everyone does not have it I can assure u
Stacie: All my friends have it
Ena: again, not ALL ur friends have it.
Stacie: It is what is raining
Ena. Ha! Then why are people complaining if it is what is falling from
the sky? So all the Lagos rain is ipad
Stacie: I am serious. I will be very grateful if u send me one. I
Ena: grateful (while me "great fool" Thank you) How grateful will u be?
Stacie: lwkmd. How grateful shld i be?
Ena : (two months of non-stop "okware." You will wake me up wt bj,
collect one "obukokwo, as morning cookoorookoo, then u will serve me
breakfast in bed too. U will tie wrapper as only clothing for duration
of my stay.) Well... em... seriously u dont need an ipad. I can see u
have a blackberry. I use a blackberry too and a normal laptop. I don't
have an ipad and since i have been here in America, I am yet to see one
on the floor to pick.
Stacie: why are u doing like this nau?
Ena : seriously I don't have an ipad.
Stacie So u don't want to send me one?
Ena : well I can send u shoulder pad or brake pad.
hello ... hello u there ... u dont want the shoulder pad, how about sanitary pad??? hey hey hey, u there? hello...
(u no well at all. ipad.)