Friday, January 11, 2013

When a Nigerian Male lives Abroad...a sample of the inbox conversation with a Nigerian girl

(From my fb chat inbox and it is a true conversation. Ask any given Nigerian male who lives abroad and they will tell you the same thing.)

. let's assume the name to be Stacie and what I thought at the time but didnt say I will put in bracket. Stacie :hey Ena :Howdy Stacie :Long time no chat Ena : How we go do? Stacie: You in America right? Ena : somehow somehow Stacie :What is somehow somehow Ena :Its Warri-speak for yes. Stacie: I have a favour to ask. Ena (Chei. I done enter again. which one be favour now? Make I no assume) What is the favour? Stacie :Promise me you will grant it Ena: haba na! What ifu say I shld recircumcise myself? I have to hear it first oh. Ehen. Stacie: lwkmd. U always me andmy sisters laugh on facebook. we always go to ur page. Ena: Really? . (ehen make we dey talk dey go so she fit forget favour wey she want ask) Stacie: yes. you are very funny. u shld go into comedy Ena :thank u (ehen dey gist dey go) Stacie: I want u to send me an ipad u there? hey hello Ena:(make e no be like i run. make I still gist small) ipad? What do u need an ipad for? Stacie:Everyone has it except me Ena: Everyone does not have it I can assure u Stacie: All my friends have it Ena: again, not ALL ur friends have it. Stacie: It is what is raining Ena. Ha! Then why are people complaining if it is what is falling from the sky? So all the Lagos rain is ipad hey hello u there Stacie: I am serious. I will be very grateful if u send me one. I promise. Ena: grateful (while me "great fool" Thank you) How grateful will u be? Stacie: lwkmd. How grateful shld i be? Ena : (two months of non-stop "okware." You will wake me up wt bj, collect one "obukokwo, as morning cookoorookoo, then u will serve me breakfast in bed too. U will tie wrapper as only clothing for duration of my stay.) Well... em... seriously u dont need an ipad. I can see u have a blackberry. I use a blackberry too and a normal laptop. I don't have an ipad and since i have been here in America, I am yet to see one on the floor to pick. Stacie: why are u doing like this nau? Ena : seriously I don't have an ipad. Stacie So u don't want to send me one? Ena : well I can send u shoulder pad or brake pad. hello ... hello u there ... u dont want the shoulder pad, how about sanitary pad??? hey hey hey, u there? hello... (u no well at all. ipad.)