Saturday, January 12, 2013

MUSINGS ABOUT ALCOHOL AND DRUNKENNESS

I just have a few questions 1. Why is one never too poor to get drunk? Why is there always someone to buy the booze?

2. Why is gutter so attractive when you drink?.

3. How come even when u fall, the bottle and contents remain unspilled?

4. Why does everywhere begin to be unbalanced when u drink? Why does the ceiling and bed move once they see u drinking?

5. Is it not so much better to drink near ur house so u can walk instead of drive, and so u can be identified when u forget ur address?

6. They say "drink responsibly" like what are u responsible for? that small girl's pregnancy? Is that not why u r drinking in the first place, afraid ur wife and her mama will soon bring cassala to ur doorstep?

7. why do we drink "one for the road" when it is the gutter that we will likely end up? Why not "one for the gutter?"

8. Why can't alcohol just stay in the stomach in peace and come out thru the other holes? Why does it insist on coming out the way it came via vomiting?

9. Why are women prettier when we drink? And instead of spending so much money on surgery and make-up, shldnt women use the money to keep us drunk so that they will remain beautiful in our eyes?

10. Why do we have love for all mankind only when we drink? (except those yeye people who process alcohol wrongly and are violent. I am talking of the drunk who sings and smiles when high) Why do guys bond and guys and girls make love when there's alcohol?

11. Why is the Middle East, known for its religious ban on alcohol, also the most violent region of the world and why is the only organization in Nigeria with bombs and death, the one that does not drink (Boko haram)? Is alcohol not then the real "road map to peace"?

ANYTHING THAT CAN MAKE U HAPPY AND CONTENT, EVEN IN A GUTTER, CANNOT BE ALL BAD OR CAN IT?

(Nothing in this article should encourage you to drink and drive. Also if you get aggressive after drinking, please see a pshrink. Lastly, alcohol and being drunk is not reasons nor excuse to be abusive of wife and children. If it does not make u happy and jocose, if it does not relax you, it is not meant for you)

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