EVOLUTION AND SEPARATION; A PSEUDO-SCIENTIFIC AND HISTORICAL ANALYSIS OF DIVORCES
The GOLDEN AGE of family life has to be when men were hunters and women
gatherers. The man was expected to go out with his club and sharpened
wooden spears to hunt down the lions and tigers (...em well.. a deer or
antelope makes more sense if life was to be valued. meat is meat eh?)
While the man went hunting, the women picked the wild berries and
mushrooms and other plants that made for food and with the meat brought
by the man, made food. Thus today when you see women gathering fine
things, and appreciating roses, it is ingrained in their history.
Also the man was their defence in time of attack. His practise with the
sharpened wood was central to his ability to keep his homestead because
quite easily his wife could be stolen...I mean physically stolen and
made to rare children in some distant "un"civilization"
Now this clear distinctive separation of duties made for less clashes
and conflicts in the home as everyone knew their place.
As time passed, the evolution slowly started. Man decided to cultivate
the land and the women and their children became were of help. While the
man did the arduous work of tilling the soil that was then majorly
rocky, the women and their children poured the seeds in the ridges and
tilled earth the man dug. Thus the man grew physically stronger while
the women grew more patient.
The women at this time did not mind the man getting other women and
having a harem as more women and children meant a bigger havest. It was
tantamount to growing your own labour force by the activities of your
loins and your wives wombs. Thus it was still a matter of everyone
knowing their place
Then the industrial revolution took place. The loom was invented and
with time, machines that could do the heavy lifting. As men went to war,
women learnt to operate these machines that helped them till the soil
and plant and harvest and thus slowly the women began to realize that in
fact and in truth, they can survive without the man. The age-old need
for the man as a protector in case of attacks was diminishing as the
women knew to operate the Dane gun left to them by their soldiering
The men came back from wars and...em drinking parlours or other women's
bedrooms to find their relevance diminished in the homes. The women did
not see why the men would marry more women as more children no longer
meant more produce as tractors were doing the work of several male
children. The women began demanding faithfulness and better treatment.
The battle in the homestead had started. The men began making it a taboo
for a woman to be alone and or leave her husband. Both the Christian
and Muslim religions were willing conspirators. Divorce was a "sin" and
unacceptable and the Catholic church doubled-down on this practically
eliminating even the waiver and exception Jesus put in the no-divorce
statute in matthew. The muslims were ready to stone a woman so liberated
as to be on her own and succeed, so they too doubled down and enforced
But how do you stop a species from evolving?
Indeed central to evolution
was the sudden realization by women that they indeed owned a..em...em
well... clitoris. Perhaps husbands being away from home, they like every
animal had times in the month were they were in "heat" and requiring
"servicing". While some employed the young layabout lover, others were
too timid to and so found things that looked like their husband's
genital and thus found they could please themselves even without their
husband being physically present.
Like all newfound and fangled shiny objects, there is an obsession with
it and women required a lot more from their men. No longer would they
just lie and be serviced with the man determining when it would end. No
longer would copulation be for procreation. Like the men who are
guaranteed an orgasm, the women too demand theirs and sadly while men
need little "provocation" to "spit it all out", the women are
long-suffering and their patience developed through time is most made
evident here. For the women it is a marathon not the sprints. Thus the
man is required to evolve from the speedy Jamaican Usain Bolt to the
long distance Kenyan Kipketer
Speaking of the man's evolution, we indeed have remained prehistoric.
There is a denial even on a global level of the woman's evolutionary
demands. The GOP in America recently discovered the women want a lot
more. The Urhobo man has found his daughter would no longer agree to be
circumcised and neither would the mother let you. Yes the urhobo woman
wants more for herself and her girl-child. The Isokos are finding that
"oliho" their ancient god's will no longer help to tie down a woman who
is abandoned to her devices which may include a strappling young man.
Even "Oliho" realizes that the women want a lot more and will look for
it in the home or... sadly...very sadly outside.
Yet men continue to
live and think pre-historic. While like Rome they go to conquer new
Kingdoms, they forget to solidify their "ancient capital".
Truth is that evolution has made it hard even to please one woman how
much more four or five. Yet the man's evolution insists on the harem,
even if he does not have them all in one place but scattered in
universities, college of education, his secretary at the office and such
The lack of male evolution is not restricted to the loins. With the fact
that the women now bring home as much or even more or that their work
hours are as rigorous, we men still insist on the prehistoric duty of
the wife to cater for the children and still prepare the meals and clean
the house all by themselves. They still think to throw the woman's
clothes and panties along with theirs in the washer is a "taboo" and for
some, even to cook while she studies for that promotional exam
emasculates them or rather us.
Now what happens to creatures who refuse to evolve? Where are the
dinosaurs and mammoths? Indeed the dinosaur is perhaps the lizard
because he has realized being big is a big disadvantage and to be
successful and to survive, huge size and ego must be done away with. The
days of chest thumping and manliness must like the British Empire be
only a historical fact.
The home is becoming an endangered species. Michael Dedon, a practising
lawyer in Lagos informs us via his status a while back of the
astronomical increase in divorce proceedings.
If indeed the latin maxim
"respondeat superior" is to be followed which means the "head must
answer," and if the man is the indeed the head of the home, then men
must sit down and answer.
We as men must also realize that there is no longer much stigma for a
woman to be a divorcee as the number is too numerous. A norm or
something commonplace cannot be a stigma.
Also as men we must realize that JESUS FORGIVES and ALLAH IS MERCIFUL.
Thus unlike Ogun and Oliho and other ancients gods, the women can simply
kneel down and pray and ask for forgiveness and GRACE and THE BLOOD OF
JESUS will WIPE AWAY ALL SINS NO MATTER the heinousness. No longer is
the cheating wife made to walk naked in the market square or threatened
that all her children will die or that the child will not be born if the
man with whom she cheated is not in the labour room. In fact, the child
will immediately be born via caesarian section. Yes indeed, if the child obeys some cultural taboo and refuses to be born, he/she will be born through caesarian.
Speaking of Caesarian sections, women as part of their evolution are choosing it more and more so as to, not just reduce childbirth pain, but keep the vagina intact for further use and to reduce wear and tear.
Thus as "heads of the home" what can we do to save the home?
I imagine a symposium wherein men shall be made to answer a few
1. are we really sure we should be dissipating sexual energy with these
young girls when our wives are home waiting?
2. How long will "i am tired" hold when the wives demand or even if
they do not demand, yet want without saying?.
3. Does not every excuse we give to allow us space for "orukuruku"
activities eg, I am traveling for work, I am working late etc give same
space to our wives with us doing all the scheming while they benefit?
4. if we aren't there for our wives, what does science say about
5. Like really, must she do all the work? Is school run such a Herculean
task? What will it take to nappy the kid sometimes and let her rest or
cook or actually go to that correct "mama put" to buy supper for
6 who are you Facebooking, BBing or Pinging and who is she pinging and
facebooking? you are aware she spent four years at least in the
university and her father didnt buy all her textbooks and instead one
aristo or Alhaji "helped her dad" and also she did a few things with a
few (or not so few) guys who may still like her just like you still like
a few, so who are you pinging and who is she pinging and all day?
7. Does bride price and wedding gowns remove libido and desires and
8. Are you sure she is no longer fine? Have u looked at your own
beer-belly lately? have u not noticed even as you make love to that
young girl the amount of time it took for you to be "ready" especially
compared to your early twenties when just hearing her bike arrive, John
Thomas stands in anticipation? Have you also noticed that like older
Tyson, Round one and two is the most you can go before getting "knocked
out"? have you also noticed that some certain backpain and muscle pull
sometimes slows you down in "midstream" (midstream is not a reference to "wetness" of the woman I promise. lmao)
have depreciated so much, how about her who has children to show for
it...children that proves your manliness and virility?
I know some women are too evolved to be caught up with. I know some see
marriage and men as a new apparel to be returned if defective. Nothing
can be done about those ones. We wave them "bye bye" as they fade into
the distant horizons. But a huge majority of them are just a model or
two ahead and waiting for us to UPDATE and RELOAD so as to get the
family unit working again.
So this is ENA OFUGARA 2.0. who is updating with me?