Thursday, January 10, 2013
THERE IS ENOUGH BREAD IN GOD'S HOUSE
(I am imagining a bold Deacon in the mold of Prophet Nathan and John The Baptist walking up to the microphone and saying these words to the congregation)
"Praise the Lord. Prai prai praise the lord.
This will not be a long speech but the church is built so no more building fund. The regular offering can take care of the minor repairs and maintenance.
Pastor now has all the colours of suits and coats matching all our backdrops except we want to invent a new colour. The church has signed a contract with Dear MaMa Laundry. to maintain all pastor's clothes
The cars in Pastor's garage is now looking like those times 419 used to rain and cocaine boys used to import all brands of cars, so we have asked pastor to choose two or even three. The rest we want to either sell or give to those who do not have.
As for the jet, we have returned it to the seller. We do not want to over work our dear pastor. We do not think he should be in the air everytime like he is Angel Gabriel. We have downloaded the application for all the domestic and international flight schedule so we have asked the Church secretary to book our pastor's itinerary around it. If the Queen of England, Defender of the faith, head of the Church of England and head of the Britain can use only British Airways and take trains like her subjects, then we must learn from the throne whose occupants gave us Christianity and Nigeria itself
As to "bread being in God's house" We have also signed a contract with a nearby bakery. Also we have given pastor a special card to get all the grocery he needs.....honey, chocolate, butter for the bread, lettuce, cabbage, pounded yam, starc etc. In fact if Pastor eats all the food we have provided in God's temple, we wil have an obese pastor.
And also since God said a labourer is entitled to his wages, we have decided to pay our dear pastor. We love him so we are paying hi as much as the bank manager of first bank in addition to "the bread we have provided for God's temple.
As chairman of the Board of Trustees, we have decided to declare every penny that is offering, tithe and vow etc. This is not a secret cult or the corrupt National Assembly. We must be transparent. When Jesus found money in the belly of the fish, he showed everybody before paying Caesar. So we are going to show everyone how much we are making from both the school, the book sold on church property, tapes and halls hired out for Maltina Dance All. If it is associated with this church and sold on land of this church using the name of Christ, it belongs to all of us and we will decide the use.
Children of God, we have also decided every worker in the church will be paid. If pastor is not doing it for free, all junior pastors must collect salary no matter how small. It is from the plate Jesus ate from that the disciples also ate. No more cheating. ALL PASTORS MUST BE PAID.
Apart from the chairs reserved for choir and deacons, all chairs are to be sat on on a first come first sat basis. The chairs with cushions is not for those with more money or "Kingdom finaciers" Your ten naira is as important to God than another's 1 million. If CEO Nigeria dollars enterprises wants to seat on cushion chairs in front, let him come early.
Again, there is no more VIP or VVIP in this church anymore. We are all joint heirs with the ather with no branch or leaf more important than another. The miracle of God will not start from the Air-Conditioned section of the VIP section. This is not a Beyonce concert neither is Chelsea playing Manchester United. There is no popular side and VIP side. There is only Jesus side.
Those who are genuinely unable to feed themselves, the DEACONS which was established for this very purpose must fulfil the purpose we were formed for. We will be taking down your names and qualifications to see how we can get your children enrolled in school and how we can see you have food. Remeber, God disapproves of lazy people and said "he who does not work, let him not eat". Thus we will see nobody buries his talents. We will try and guide you to your potentials. So put down your names immediately after the service.
We have also removed the swimming pool and effizi from our church-owned school. We have put together a team of ex-principals and proffessors to keep only what is neccessary for good studies which include the laboratories, libraries and other learning aids. This is so we can make the school more affordable. We do not see how a pool will do that or perhaps we may keep it as swimming is good for the body and we can also baptize people in it. However it must not be seen as a status symbol. Schooling is not cheap and we intend to run it efficiently and as a symbol of Christly success in matters ofknowledge and learning. Thus you may not pay the GBOSA fees you have been paying but you will pay enough to ensure the school is primus inter pares.
As for those who want to make personal donations of cars and houses and land to the pastor, we want to ask them why. If it is because you feel if pastor hugs you for a gift then God will hug you too, amen! However we wish to inform all of you that Pastor already is one of the wealthiest men in Nigeria. He will never know want or need a thing. It is time to obey Matthew 25 "For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home." and also Luke 10-25-37. It is time to be THE GOOD SAMARITAN.
Honestly. The church rats are well fed unlike before. I saw one that looked like a rabbit. It was pursuing Pastor's cat. THERE IS ENOUGH BREAD IN GOD'S HOUSE, it is time to feed the five thousand hungry ones out there and in here and not just the disciples. Jesus didn't eat the bread alone or with only his disciples