Thursday, January 10, 2013

BETWEEN BIGFOOT AND A FAITHFUL MAN...The search for their existence. BY ENA OFUGARA



There are many who swear that Bigfoot also called Sasquatch exists. Some scientists have gone on to even say they have found his (its) DNA and that it comes from a female human mating a creature not yet identified. For the more pragmatic and realistic scientists, the cliche "show me the body" is instructive. If there is no data as proof of its existence, then it does not exist.

Then the faithful man, I am also sure many people would swear he exists. That somewhere on the face of this planet exists a man who never...not once...not even on a cold distant night when his wife traveled or he traveled or they were having problems or he was low in his resolve and personal or religious faith or that "the girl was just simply too sexy" or that she actually seduced him etc that that man has never...not once been unfaithful to his wife.

Now if THE FAITHFUL MAN does not exists, then there is a serious problem. Then what is being asked of men and the oath delivered in churches by the man to be faithful is asking an elephant to fly.

So in our search for THE FAITHFUL MAN, we looked to science if it does support man's faithfulness

We started of the search with the basic scientific premise that man is an animal and so we started searching for data that will show any animal that is faithful completely. We found google a useful tool in this search and what it revealed was quite shocking. There are more examples of the homosexual male animal than there are faithful male animal species. In other words, a man is more likely to be gay than be faithful. In yet other words, homosexuality is more natural to man as an animal than faithfulness

Science is not very certain of any creature that is 100 percent faithful, not even the beaver, California mice, black vulture etc. It merely points to "majorly monogamous" but cannot stick its neck out and say the male of that species have never cheated.

Now man is not an animal I hear you say. Or we are higher animals. hmmmm. Okay let us look instead to the things like religion that controls us. Islam and its Prophet Mohammed are quite clear on the topic. It is four women to a man. So we do not bother to search for the FAITHFUL MAN there. He may be but since his religion says he is free to have four women and even put them all together in one place with each woman waiting to take her turn..... well, let us look elsewhere.

Christianity must have a better answer. "Thou shalt not commit adultery" is the clear seventh commandment written by Yahweh's hands in the presence of Moses on Mount Sinai right? Well we looked and read and what we saw was "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's WIFE" Thus if she is unmarried and does not belong to your neighbour, a married man is free to copulate as he wishes. The word "Adultery" if interpreted to mean a married man having sex outside of his wife, then it is beyond what the Almighty wrote at Sinai on those tablets. Jehovah was specific about it being "a neighbour's wife" (see jesus definition of neighbour in Parable of Good Samaritan. So even if he stays in Kazakhstan, he is still your neighbour so his wife is beyong limits)

Okay, with the man Jehovah loved and described as "after his heart" David, being a serious adulterer and fornicator, we move to our African religions and welll.... the first Olokun and Ogun priest we met both had over 3 wives each.

Definitely this must be a weakness on the part of men. WEAKNESS. and FOOLISHNESS. So we decided to study great men in history and even the present.

The First Adam; There were no other women right? But his weakness towards a woman Eve was clear. I often imagine God calling Adam aside and saying "Adam dear. Eve the woman is thecause just like u said so i want to take her out of the equation" I imagine Adam looking at the whole garden...apple trees, lush green grass, brooks and fountains etc then turning and looking at Eve then at the "garden" between her legs and then telling God respectfully "Sir, I love your Garden of Eden but i honestly prefer the Garden of Eve. I can die there baba. I rather fall from grace and till the soil in the hot sun than not continue with Eve's garden"

Indeed men have chosen to risk everything....family, career, wealth, health for women....sadly unlike Adam, it is not usually for the one at home.

Samson the Strongest. What most people do not know is that Samson was not a fool to just one woman. The women were at least two and Delilah was only the last of his exploits. Samson could conquer a LION but not his LOIN. Can you believe that after telling a woman it was to tie him with a rope that he could be ruined, and after she actually had him tied with a rope proving she is willing to have him destroyed, he still told Delilah that it was his "hair"?. That is how much men are willing to throw it all away over women.

Solomon the Wisest; well, his wisdom did not include matters related to the vagina was it? Solomon's case is about the most befuddling. he was soooo wise. Jehovah himself gave him his wisdom. Yet all the wisdom in the world could not stop him from straying to other women's arms.

Okay, enough of religion. That was those days. Let us search for the FAITHFUL MAN amongst our contemporaries.

GENERAL PATRAEUS; this man could have become the President of the United States in four or eight years. Both Democrats and Republicans courted him. He was the head of the CIA that guaraanteed the killing of Osama Bin Ladin, his strategy is said to have won the Iraq war etc etc. But all of that he threw away when he became sexuallly involved with a woman not his wife, a woman who wrote a book about him titled "ALL IN" which obviously can now be said to refer to a part of his anatomy and hers.

Or maybe Bill Clinton with his beautiful powerful intelligent wife Hilary who "had relations" with Monica lewinsky etc

Or maybe amongst athletes with serious physical training and focus like Tiger Woods, Mike Tyson, John Terry, Ashley Cole, Ryan Giggs, David Beckham

Or maybe the many Pastors like Jimmy Swaggers. Or maybe Priests.

.... where do we search for THE FAITHFUL MAN?

What man will agree to swear before Ogun or Ayilala that NOT ONCE has he been unfaithful to his wife? If he is averse to swearing, will he agree to be polygraphed, that is, take a lie detector test?

What woman can swear with her left breast that her husband has never cheated on her?

How many pastors have stood before the pulpit and said "I have never cheated on my wife?" Do they not knowingly explain to the church that "all have sinned and come short of the glory of the lord?" and of course teach more on FORGIVENESS as it should be?

I say this because it is high time that women, both black and white realize, European, Asian, American, African that even Hercules was not given the task of being the FATITHFUL MAN. perhaps that is a task more difficult than cleaning the Augean Stable or gettin th man-eating horses of Diomedes. It was easier to send Hercules to take the female amazon Hippolytes belt than to be faithful.

Perhaps Jesus realised he would have a sexual problem among his team if some of his disciples were female. perhaps he realised that as long as a man was with a woman "anything can happen" wife at home or not.

Yes we must realize that the concept of a completely faithful man is only about a hundred years old. That "mistress" and "illegitimate" children were a regular fixture of the Europe that introduced this foreign anti-nature concept of the FAITHFUL MAN. And that since neither religion nor history, nor nature support the existence of THE FAITHFUL MAN, then it is time we look at it critically and not base extreme decisions like divorce, child custody, political appointment, career advancement etc on something that is arguably an integral part of his make up and being.

Bill Clinton is an excellent man. Because of a certain indiscretion he was actually impeached by the Republicans in the lower house....a man whose leadership of America is a beacon till date.

Tiger Woods the best golfer is today a shadow of himself cos of a certain burden given him to bear called faithfulness. Mere phillandering that meant nothing to him and that he uses to ease tension before a game has been made to ruin him

General Petreaus, America is weaker today and the CIA and Homeland security are trying to fill his void and it is hoped no lives are lost to terrorists as his big shoes are hurriedly filled. And for what is America this exposed? Because he did something that is second nature to every man...he slept with a woman not his wife.

And everyday, in courts all over the world, women are denying their children the "privilege" of having their father at home raising them because he "cheated". So on the altar of a woman's jealousy, the Institution of marriage and the need for a father in children's lives is jettisoned.

What I am never able to understand is when these women leave their man, ones with whom they made children, because he cheated, to whom do they go? The next man in their lives is certain tobe better right? He does not have a libido of a male and he will unscrew his "manhood" and hand it to her for safe-keeping when he exits the house right? Cos that is the one sure way of ensuring he will be different from her original man.

It is indeed my belief that it is time to remove "cheating"on the male part from valid reason for a divorce. What must be used in granting divorces must be limited to domestic violence and voluntary failure to provide for the family's needs. The likelihood of male "cheating" is much too high and thus the very institution of marriage is more threatened by jealous greedy women wanting all billions and billions of a man's semen all to themselves...even when they are too tired or busy or sick etc tosate a man's lust at that particular moment.
Indeed it is my belief that leaving a man because he "cheated" is an excuse and not a reason as I am certain women are too territorial to hand a rival a man they really want. The cases of Tiger Woods and David Beckham must be juxtaposed as it will show a woman who loves her man and one who doesn't even when both men cheated. The divorce courts must look beyong the excuseof the cheating man and ask the woman why she really wants to leave and what financial gain (alimony, 50% or half of man's property), outside lover etc is propelling her to leave. It cannot be simply because he slept with a woman outside.
This is the only way to stem the sharp increase in divorce rates globally especially in the Western World.

Here are a few questions to ask a married woman who comes to you crying that her husband cheated on her. ask her

1. "Is your man better than all other men?

2. Is he no longer a man?

3.Is he wiser than Solomon, stronger than Samson, More focused than Tiger Woods, More committed than John Terry, more dedicated than Ryan Giggs, more family oriented than David Beckham . Is he more spirit-filled than Jimmy swaggers or more self-sacrificing than Father Francis? So why are you asking him to do the impossible?"

4.Tell her "A man's faithfulness is an ideal. It is not the law in any custom. No man has ever been stoned, imprisoned etc for cheating"

5.Ask her "Are you finer, or richer or more famous than Beckham's wife? If Mrs Beckham can realize that her man David Beckham with all his fame and fortune is still but a MAN, why not you"

6. tell her of Emeka Ojukwu. That by leaving so much property to Bianca his wife, even when culture of the Ibos do not share so much property to a wife, by how they both lived their lives in love and through trials etc, by the fact that in all of this love Ojukwu still fathered a child outside wedlock, it is proof that the best of men at best are but MEN and A MAN's UNFAITHFULNESS OR CHEATING IS NOT AN ABSENCE OF LOVE FOR HIS WIFE BUT A PRESENCE OF AN INNATE MALE ANIMALISTIC DESIRE TO SATISFY CERTAIN CRAVINGS.

7 Tell her also that "Women must begin to see cheating like MEN-STRAY-SHUNN (menstruation) a part of their existence. Whenever it is their time of month, the word "menstruation" should be a constant reminder that men "stray" They must realize that MEN-O-PAUSE is not MEN-O-STOP as the best most men can do is "pause" and limit their cheating as opposed to expecting that they will NEVER CHEAT."

8. Tell her that women are even lucky. That Male cattle (bull) never sleeps with the same cow (female cattle) more than once. Tell her "man is one of only a few animal species that actually helps in joining the female to raise their children" That for that women must be happy and thank God. That the dog who is a man's best friend, after that rigorous mating that results in the female dog (bitch)getting pregnant, does the male dog care how the female dog raises the puppies? Yet they say dogs are the most loyal animals. The woman must really thank God that man is more loyal to his wife than a dog to his bitch.

Yes the above will hurt and women will hate you (man or woman) for telling them this as you probably hate me now for writing this. I am certain I will be judged and sentensed by this article. However the truth hurts does it not?
This bears repeating: ONLY THE ABOVE VIEWPOINT CAN SAVE THE HOMES OF TODAYas this requirement of male-faithfulness has become counter-productive to stable homes as was the case before the requirement was introduced.

Then as men, we must realise that it hurts our wife, girlfriend, even the mistress outside, when we have any other woman besides them. (General Patreaus girlfriend was warning people off a married man she was dating. She was even more territorial than his wife. Imagine that!)

We must also realize with so much designer diseases out there, we are risking not just our health but that of the wives and children who suckle as well.

We just must try to not cheat. This is a tall order much like saying we should not smoke or drink or watch football. The discipline required will shame Sparta. We must try and go against our very history, nature, DNA, religion etc. Society has connived to make it a duty for us to ignore that seductive secretary with her low-cut blouse and protractor-measured round buttocks. We are to deny our very essense of hunting and conquest.

Moreover is that girl who is not even as pretty as the wife worth all the aggravation and is her em.. em so sweet it is worth having a broken home over?

Okay is it hard to be eternally faithful? By God, try and not be caught you may want to

1.Ensure your phone, Ipad, Computer etc is locked at all times
2. Make sure your mistress uses the same perfume as your wife if you know she likes to bathe in scents
3. Tell her never to call you at times you usually are at home. If she must call, she must wait for your voice to say "hello" before she says "sweetheart" "honey" "my love" etc. Wives when they pick their husband's phone nowadays just keep silent waiting for the caller to say "hello" first so the caller does not drop the call on hearing her voice.
4.Tell her not to wear lipstick as it somehow finds its ways on to collars and shoulders.
5.Wear a condom: Nothing beats the pressure of a pregnant mistress. You may not have the grit and ability of an Ojukwu to successfully hide it
6. Wear a condom SIMPLE. It does not make sense telling your wife in this day and age of sanitized toilets that she caught gonorhea from the toilet. Seriously that is messed up.
7. Keep Shaggy's "It wasn't me" song on your mp3 for inspiration. Do not ever admit you were unfaithful. Anini and Osunbor pleaded guilty and begged and they were still hanged. DENY. A part of her brain desires for it to be a lie. feed that part. I repeat DENY
8. Avoid all of the foregoing by simply BEING FAITHFUL

As with Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, The Abominable SnowMan as well as THE FAITHFUL MAN, perhaps they all exist. There is just no scientific proof of any. Myths are real sometimes aren't they?

It is my fervent prayer and wish that everyman (including myself,) has the honour of ending the search for THE FAITHFUL MAN by finding him whenever he looks in the mirror. AMEN!!!!!!!

2 comments:

  1. LoL! Such trouble and over what, I will never understand. Just Google and you will see how many "man" hours man has dedicated to researching, investigating, analysing, explaining and justifying male infidelity and you will have a good laugh. Given the tidy way in which you dealt with other topics, I really did expect you to dispatch with this one with the same level of aplomb but alas you did not Ena. You see, in all of your efforts to unravel male infidelity you forgot to consider the most important thing, that Man created Marriage and with it the rules of marriage. (When I say Man, I do not include woman. I mean man as in the male gender. Man, the leader, the father, the master of the universe. The guy James Brown was talking about when he sang, "its a mans world").

    Man, whether as a religious leader, a political leader or a social leader, saw fit to create and set the rules, regulations, benefits and penalties of marriage (as we all know woman was not given the ability to participate in this process) and in so doing decreed that during the course of his marriage to a woman, he would not have relations with any other. Since there is no evidence of duress, bribery, intoxication or seduction in the process of setting said rules, one can only presume that he, man, did it willingly and knowingly. We know for a fact that all men subscribed to this rule, because they went on to put it in the rule books to make it legal, and legally binding - Thus this rule exists as legislation in all democratic countries.

    Given the above, I'm sure that you'll understand me when I look at you with an expression of amazement and disbelieve and say - Well if you don't like your little rule any more, and since you, man, is still in power, why not just cancel it? Change it? Repeal it! Strike it from the records! Replace it with a better rule, more in tune with reality or the nature of men?

    And while you're at it, could you kindly put in a little something say that women are exempt from the fidelity rule too? After all, the seventh commandment spoke about 'your neighbors wife' and not your neighbors husband and since we women no longer need men to survive or succeed.....

    LMAO!


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  2. Ena im still speechless after reading this piece. Speechless not in the manner that you have said anything inappropriate. The truth is man is always trying to do things in his own accord. The same bible tells us that "By strength shall no man prevail". The issue of fidelity is solely complemented by the help of the holy spirit. Cos your mortal body cannot withstand the attractions of carnal desires. I'm not trying to be spiritual or anything. we will all be tried one way or the other. what can keep you from falling is the grace of God and the Holy spirit! @Mahassin Quadri!You gave a nice twist to it too

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