IF ONLY FOR HIS SPERM...Happy Father's Day BY ENA OFUGARA

Okay mother's day had more weight...maybe it should. Maybe because mothers are usually more hands on with the children and also maybe the nine months or being in their belly and another 3-10 months feeding from their nipples is factored. However, PAPA NA PAPA.

Now I have seen so many people send BCs that basically rubbishes Father's Day because of what they perceive as an uncaring father. hmmm... I empathise if you did not have the firm and providing hand of a father in your life. There is no gainsaying the importance of that. In fact I usually am able to tell a girl who was raised by her mother without much input from the father.

The first thing you will notice with SOME of such girls/women is a disrespect for men. They make it seem like Fatherhood is as important as the appendix or pinky toe (the small toe is of no use and some women take it off abroad just to fit into smaller more pointed shoes.) These girls speak of such independence from their husbands that it is scary when they converse. Quite often in my usual conversations amongst people, once a girl starts to speak, I simply say "u no follow your papa stay same house" To which they reply "how you take know"?

Now also statistics have shown that kids that had no father-figure growing up are up to fifty percent times more likely to turn out bad as in go to jail etc. This is no longer in dispute.

Thus I am really against fathers who breed 'em but do not feed 'em (had to rhyme it)

Now having said that, WETIN SEF!!! so because he no train you naim make you no just send your papa? Haba!!!

Now do not look lightly at the role your absent father played in your life. He determined more things in you than you care to imagine. It could be your "ogo" at the back of your head, handsome face, your selfish but determined outlook etc. But even if you do not look like him, HE GAVE YOU YOUR DNA.

Now you think it was easy for him to toast your mother? Do you know the amount of lies he had to tell, clothes he had to buy/borrow/iron just to impress her? And when she finally agreed, DO YOU KNOW THE WORK INVOLVED IN MOVING HIS WAIST BACK AND FORTH, BACK AND FORTH several times, till he em em...you know.... till you came out swimming and egg-hunting? And even if it is one school fees, or one book or ...just his name that you bear, or even if you do not, HE WORKED HIS WAIST TO DEATH SO YOU COULD SWIM.

And so you love your mother and are grateful to her and you buy her a car just to spite your father. As my friend and brother Precious Izobo once told his dad when he was giving him money "papa, I no suppose dey give you money cos you no try for me. Na my mama I suppose dey give, then if she like she go give you inside" Yet he gave his father and did as much as he could even though as he said "papa you no try for me"

Two wrongs have never made a right. So he did not do his duty as a father, does that mean you too will shirk your duty as a son??? How are you then better than him? In fact it shows you are more like him than you realise.

I am afraid to raise this argument that maybe not providing for you was the biggest provision your father could have ever done for you. crazy logic right? But if Obama's Muslim father had been a good, monogamous providing father, if he had brought him back to Kenya would Obama be POTUS today... Most powerful man in the world? If Sade Adu's father had been good to the mother, would they have snuck back to London and that annoyance, passion and pain you hear in Sade's voice that reveals an electra love gone sour (yes. She came for his burial showing like most girls she loved her father and must have felt the biggest betrayal and yes hate for the man for how he treated her mother) would she be THE KING OF SORROW today? Yes it is warped logic but maybe just maybe it is truth.

And no matter what you think, drive a Mayback and build a mansion in Banana Island for your houseboys and drivers to stay, tar the road to your church/mosque, donate to All Saint Motherless Baby's Home in Anthony Lagos (had to plug that orphanage so someone reading this might buy them a bag of rice or something soon. Again, it is at Anthony right before or after Maryland depending on where you are coming from) if your father has holes in his wrapper from which you see his buttcheeks, (yansh) if he hungers and starves even with the junior wife over which he threw your mother out, if when he is ill, he cannot afford to go to the hospital.... your gold-plated boxers and diamond-studded singlet notwithstanding, YOU ARE POOR. Yes poor. Poor in forgiveness, poor in love, poor in honouring your father and your mother as God commanded in the ten Commandments; poor in not taking higher roads; poor, poor,  ABJECTLY POOR.

 IF FOR JUST THE SPERM,  If for not masturbating that night or using a condom IF FOR JUST PROVIDING YOU WITH SUCH A SPECIAL WOMAN AS YOUR MOTHER, if only for not beating your mother till she lost the pregnancy when she told him she was pregnant,  if for bearing the same title of "father" as GOd does....if for ....anything anythin anything, forgive your father and honour and provide for him....

Happy father's day y'all and to all males yet to father a child,  MAY OUR SOLDIERS MARCH, and may we have the good sense that MY CHILD WILL EAT FIRST THEN MY WIFE THEN ME even as the Lord provides for us as the heads of our household.

AMEN. Happy Father's day

(This article was partial to biological fathers. We consider every man or uncle or friend or stepfather or "uncle" (mama boyfriend) who helps to raise a child "a father". Jackson's kids are white and he is their father. I wrote this only for people to forgive fathers who did not provide for them. It in no way diminishes your role as a wonderful stepfather, adopted father etc etc etc.)

BEFORE YORUBAS ALIGN WITH THE CORE-NORTH... a friendly reminder BY ENA OFUGARA

Professor Angos Abdullahi's offer of alliance to any region that offers the North the presidential ticket and Tinubu's dallying with Buhari forces me to point a few things out to Yorubas who care to listen.

 Firstly we all know Awolowo was a more intelligent man than Zik and the  Igbo-hating Ahmadu Bello (i shared the link were Ahmadu Bello spouted total hate towards Ibos). Why, pray tell did his Action Congress  not go into alliance with the NPC (Northern People's Congress) and instead the naive "One Nigeria" Azikiwe did to dastardly consequences? Awolowo was in Zik's house offering the Alliance between AG and Zik's NCNC when  Ahmadu's call came through and Zik accepted to align with the North instead of the West, an alliance that has done nothing for the East till date.

What did Awolowo know that made him not align with the core-north that Tinubu does not? Does the Awo-imitation glasses which Tinubu wears not reveal same wisdom to him?

Then let us look at MKO ABIOLA. MKO fought Awolowo and struck alliance with the North. He was a graduate and established businessman and was very wealthy. He built countless mosques and spent huge resources wooing the North so he could be president under NPN. In fact, Abiola's utterances and postures back then was so anti Christian and anti-Awo....same Awo whose free education he used to acquire education which in turn made him able to take advantage of the opportunities presented in a new nation. The North took his money and made a TC11 holder Shehu Shagari...a Northerner, president and again Awo turned down any alliance leaving the Ibos and Alex Ekwueme to align with the North. Of course when the Hausa's took a coup to unseat Shagari, Buhari placed The president Shagari in a "house arrest" while his powerless deputy and Ibo ally Ekwueme was in kirikiri even though he did not take a single executive decision we can remember.

Abiola MKO had learnt his lesson. Thenceforth he balanced his affections somewhat between Christians and Muslims and knew not to rely on the North. He spent as much time helping people in Port Harcourt almost as much as in Sokoto with his immense wealth. And when IBB called for parties to be formed and elections held, Abiola refused to join the fray. He knew he couldn't trust the Northerners and perhaps was unsure how South east and South South would react to his previous suspected anti-Christian stance. So he stayed away. Shehu Yar'Adua was thus the Colossus and President in waiting until Sani Abacha's hate for him perhaps influenced IBB to ban everyone who contested and open the field for fresh candidates. (Till date there is no rationale for the ban on Shehu Yar'Adua so pardon me if I attribute it to his rumoured personal squabble with Abacha)

Now with the "first eleven" banned, the temptation was too much for Abiola and he threw his hat in. That was when he knew that South East and South South did not support Awo, not because he was Yoruba, but because Awo was TOO YORUBA. His writings and speeches and actions showed he was for everything Yoruba and no place else. They also felt betrayed by his actions as finance minister during the Biafra war... the action of changing the naira which in everyone's view won the war for Nigeria (told you he was brilliant)

Back to Abiola. The south and East went for him like he was Munachi Kiniovo Oritsesan (MKO) Abiola. The south and East seeing Kingibe as his deputy did not give a hoot about their Muslim/Muslim ticket. We knew Ambassador Kingibe was too civilised to be a Muslim Fundamentalist and Abiola had shown he cared for the common man and so nobody cared if he walked naked to a river to worship Olokun or shaved his hair and climbed a mountain to see the Dalai Lama in Tibet or to Ethiopia to worship Haile Selassie. NOBODY CARED.

And then Babangida realized he had made an unforgivable mistake in the eyes of the North. Ahmadu Bello's speech about them never allowing power to move to the south had been flipped and IBB had to beat a retreat and annul the June 12 elections. And the East and South South stood up with the Yorubas and fought and rioted and burnt buildings of even their sons whom they considered traitors.
THE EAST AND SOUTH SOUTH STOOD WITH THE WEST.

Now how did the North react? You could have heard a pin drop. Silently they backed IBB and when the West and East and South South will not be placated, IBB "stepped aside" and put Ernest Shonekan as head of the Interim Government and refused to put a vice but left Geeneral Sanni Abacha as Minister of Defense and put him as Shonekan's Number 2 man. And when the polity was settled to a degree, Abacha returned power to the North and himself. And when he died, power stayed in the North and Jerremiah Useni who ordinarily was the ranking officer after Abacha then knew being a Christian Middlebelter made one at the mercy of the core north and like David Mark and other Middlebelters, you are offered what falls of the master's table and from lessons learnt from allowing Gowon, it will no longer include the presidency.

So Abdul Salaam became president but also knew the east and South South and West were deeply aggrieved and IBB knew the country was tottering on the precipice of disintegration and so the Yoruba Man who had once delivered power back to the North is recruited from prison and so OBJ became President and indeed sent power back to the North upon completion of his 8 year tenure.

Again it must be noted that the East and South South stood behind the Yoruba OBJ. he had almost 100 percent of votes cast.

So when OBJ picked the brother of his former 2IC (second in command) Yar'Adua and put a very compliant GEJ as his deputy, there was no thought that power would ever go to the east or South South. Then Yar"Adua started removing all OBJ's fingers from reins of power, chasing out and prosecuting his allies like El Rufai and Nuhu Ribadu. Vetoing the sale of NNPC and a few other major decisions. And upon Yar"Adua's rumoured and denied death, OBJ knew it was an opportunity to get back in the saddle of power and supported the then stooge-mien GEJ to power.

Now the West and East and south South stood behind GEJ so he can be called "Acting President"....something that should go without saying.

And when finally Yar"Adua death was confirmed, GEJ was sworn in as president. The West almost betrayed the alliance by adopting Nuhu Ribadu. But somehow we understand Tinubu decided to go with GEJ as Ribadu had no chancee of winning even his home state and only Ekiti or so returned Ribadu as winner.

But since GEJ's tenure, the North have bullied him and sadly the West have joined them. Boko Haram has been used as a scourge and since Yorubas are not the primary target, as those to be butchered are chiefly The Easterners and South Southerners, the west's leadership have been totally uncaring. Instead of supporting GEJ to rule well, the new Awolowo (if only by his glasses and leadership of the Yorubas), Bola Tinubu decides to plot and remove the minority GEJ from power. Unlike Awo, he decides to align with the same core North that will not allow a Yoruba Imam preside in a Northern Mosque nor consider Abiola good enough to be president. Tinubu decides to add the Western weight to that of the north just to have his hands on the reins of power...power of vice president at best...an aberration to Awo.

When GEJ finally decided to take the bull by the horn as he was getting zero cooperation from those who have led Nigeria and who consider themselves senior partners to the union called Nigeria, when he decides to tackle terrorism, Tinubu, the leader of the Yorubas decide to not support the only action that can savee the life of Ibos and South Southerners in the North and maybe with time, in the very south. (cancers grow).

This I find to be a big betrayal by the Yorubas...if Tinubu indeed speaks for them. This was a chance for Yorubas to take charge of being leaders of the south by backing GEJ. For them to empathise with our dead and support all actions to keep us safe. But Tinubu like Akintola decides his bread is best buttered with an alliance with the core north and like Akintola, he will find his stock plummet in a very short while.

So as Professor Angos Abdullahi offers alliance with any region that would offer them the presidential ticket, I ask Yorubas to look inwards and ask 1. with whom are they truly equals and even apparently superior and not second class citizens? 2. Who has stood with them the most? 3.Whose resources have built their Lagos and everywhere else? 3. if the country should break, with whom would they rather form a republic? South South or North? 4. What has previous alliances by Akintola and Abiola with the North done for them? 5. Should they not be leading a united south against those who say they are born to rule? 6. What is the cost to the Yoruba nation to be forever hated by the East and South South for supporting the North at the only time they have felt any sentiments as being truly part of Nigeria. 7. Should we not be uniting to address why the North has 80 plus percent of oil blocks or is the Yoruba 19 percent fair enough so no need to change the status quo?

I will end by saying, give us a Kingibe and the south will not mind being as one with the North. But all we see are fundamentalists and supremacists like the Ciromas, Anbos Abdullahis, Buharis who will not even comisserate with Southerners and easterners killed by their terrorists. WE CANNOT HAVE THAT and the Yorubas should not allow themselves be used to return power to this ilk.

Awo would turn in his grave in disgust watching Bola Ahmed Tinubu and his Alliance with Buhari

WHEN WILL CHELSEA LEARN? Let Mourinho BUILD not BUY a team.BY ENA OFUGARA

THE BLUE NIGERIANS... MIKEL AND MOSES

As a long time Chelsea fan who experienced all the pain Thierry Henry used to heap on us, I cannot help but marvel at how far we have come since then...and how far Arsenal has fallen since. So make no mistake, I am grateful for the spendings and the wins and the trophies.

But we must agree that with all of our expenditure which dwarfs that of our rivals...at least till Manchester City and their Arabs opened their wallets, we are still not where we ought to be. Seriously since Ferguson outclassed Mourinho in Mou's third season, despite the continued purchase of big name players and Mourinho's eventual sack (yes he was) Chelsea has not been as dominant as we should be. Yes Ancelotti won us the double with some excellent scoring formations and yes Di Matteo won us the Champions League and FA Cup in a heroic manner, yet The owner and I know Chelsea is not the finished article yet.

Seriously with players like Shevchenko, Crespo, Veron, Ballack, Deco, Torres, Mutu, all having been on our teamlist quite recently, with the huge amounts expended on their purchases, we should not be on just three premiership trophies and a couple of third and even a fifth place as the above named players are definitely "Galacticos" in every conceivable way. Yet Manchester United, with no real purchase of note (They built Ronaldo and Rooney was a kid in Everton) is still the best club in the land.

Now aside the players, we have also had the best coaches football has to offer. We have had the old wiliness of Ranieri, had a world cup winner in Scolari, an experienced hand in Guus Hiddink, a quadruple Champions League winner in Ancelotti (twice as player, twice as coach) a young genius in Villas Boas, a home-grown crowd favourite in Di Matteo, and Champions League, Europa League, Spanish league and World Club Cup winner in Benitez and yet we still fall short of the standards set by Manchester United who has had just a coach within all those times...and I did not even mention Avram Grant.

If I was to extend the comparison to other leagues, Bayern and Barcelona who have spent so much less have outclassed us these past years.

So I dare to ask why this is so. Why we still lack a certain factor that puts us just below Manchester United, Bayern and Barcelona.

Many will point to the musical chair of our coaching staff...the inconsistency. Many will say Ancelotti or AVB or even Benitez should have been kept to continue their work on the team.

I wish to disagree to a certain degree. Manchester City has had one coach and two trophies in three years of mad expenditure. And have achieved precious little.

What then is the problem? I dare to say a lack of chance to young talents to mature

Looking at these three clubs I have put in front of us, you will see that their strength has been built on either grooming or buying fantastic young players and letting them grow and jell with some other expensive big money buys. Each player is not assessed by his individual ability or super-star nature but how they with time grow to understand the playing philosophy of their teams and how the team then runs in their blood as opposed to being just mercenaries.

Listening to Benitez say Mourinho has a warchest of 100 million dollars, I said to myself, "here we go again".  And the rumour mills have not helped either with the chase by Chelsea of every single player with any talent and in all positions.

Now look at Chelsea. Our three greatest legends are Lampard, Drogba and Terry. Lampard was in West Ham as well as Terry but their relative young ages and desire to do well and make a name for themselves led them to achieve such great feats for our club. Lampard outclassed the Petites and Verons and Jarosiks and Ballacks and Maniche and Decos and every big name we bought to shore up the midfield....and he was in West Ham. Terry is the highest scoring defender ever in Premiership history and this was because as a young kid he learnt from Lebouf and Desaille and Chelsea got in his soul. Drogba, a relatively unknown with Marseille also needed a stage to shine and despite all the clubs attempt to relegate him to the bench with purchases like Crespo, Shevvy, Anellka, and Torres, Drogba proved that names and fame play second fiddle to desire and hunger. Drogba bled blue which Crespo and Shevvy and Crespo never did.

So once again we are at the Rubicon. We once again have gone and gotten a sojourner as coach in Mourinho who has the effrontery to say "if Chelsea sack me, I become a millionaire and a new club will hire me". It is to him we have turned proving once more all we care about is a quick fix. Yes he has said he intends to stay for a long time but knowing Mourinho....

In the next few days I know Chelsea will have signed Cavani and I pray it goes well. However WHEN WILL CHELSEA LEARN when it comes to signing expensive centre forwards? I hope it is different this time.

Then again a very brilliant project is about to be thrown out. These past years Chelsea has acquired some very brilliant young prospects. These boys in the youth team have dominated the age grade competitions in the Premier league. If the Premiership like Spain allowed clubs register their  youngsters, the quality in our youth team would have astounded everyone.

We now have in our fold a group of fantastic youths who with time will know only Chelsea as their club and their very blood will be blue and Stanford Bridge their only home. We have the very excellent Ruben Loftus Creek who I can assure you today can be as excellent as Rodendo was. This seventeen year old held his own against Manchester City twice and i am talking Yaya Toure. Then there is Nathan Ake whom Benitez has blooded. There is also Kevin De Bruyne who is outplaying Hazard in the Belgian National team and Thorgan Hazard, Eden's younger brother who was also invited to this very talented Belgian squad. We also have the very skillful Wallace from Brazil as cover for Azpilicueta who himself is a youngster. Then there is Chilobah.

Then to the attack, we all saw Lukaku. He outplayed Torres and Ba doing a hat trick against manchester United.

Now with John Terry still able to play as central defenders play into the late thirties, as Ivanovic is able to play as centre and as right back making our right backs three, as Luiz is able to play holding midfield and Libero and sweeper, as Cahill has proven he is a fantastic committed great centre-half in waiting, as all defenders named are able to chip in an unfair share of needed goals, as we have both Hazard Eden and Oscar in a second season and definitely more acclimatized, as we have a Mata that totally outplayed Bale truth be said last season, as we have a Ramires that is both a holding midfielder and a number 8 and also a right midfielder, as we have a Mikel who we have seen still has the number ten in him if Chelsea will let him express himself and who even Benitez chose in our difficult matches until he was injured (I hope Mourinho does not punish him for refusing to join Inter after his agent Shittu had "agreed"  with Mourinho), with Lampard still able to find his way to the goal at unbelievable consistency, as Torres for the first time went beyond 20 goals and was our highest goal scorer, as Moses has proven England made a mistake in letting him play for Nigeria with his dribbling, work-rate and crucial goals, as Ba will have had a pre=season this time with our midfielders, with Hazard and Oscar and mata all able to be midfielders and left and right wingers and fluidly switching the roles in matches...with Marko Marin not yet clicking but deserving of a second chance, WHY DO WE NEED TO BUY PLAYERS??? Is Mourinho not THE SPECIAL ONE or ONLY ONE?

Honestly, Abramovic should pocket his millions and let Mourinho work with the same tools the other coaches were given. He has the advantage of them having acclimatized. Lukaku is no longer the raw-eyed thing in awe of Drogba. Let him reel him and courtois in from Athletico Madrid and switch him and the injury-prone Chec every now and then as Lindegaard and De Gea and as is done in Spurs too. Lets have these youngsters in to train and work with the Lampards and Terrys. This squad won the Europa. If we played as we started the season under Di Matteo or as we ended it under Benitez, winning in Old Trafford, we can win the Premier league without risking another 40 million pounds for a striker that is in Chelsea to pasture.

Now some people will point to Arsenal's trrophylessnes as proof that you must buy big players. This would be misleading as Wenger has not been allowed to keep the players he grooms like Flamini and Hleg and Fabregas and Ashley Cole and Thierry Henry and Anelka and Alexander Song and Van Persie. I would have loved to see him shut the door to important exits....or maybe not. Song, Fabregas, Flamini Hleb (his hleb not the one ruined in Barcelona) added to Cazorla, and Arteta, with Van Persie in front of them, that is the team I would have like Wenger's experiment to be judged by.

Mourinho, if you are special, work with the players that are in your dressing room right now and the youngsters. Like Guardiola with Messi and Xavi and Iniesta and Ferguson with Scholes and Giggs and Beckham and Van Gaal with Ajax back then with their young inexpensive squads BUILD US A DYNASTY, you cannot buy one else Manchester City would be Champions not basement of Europe.

CHELSEA CHELSEA

Papa and Mama Bemigho in Cheating Episode.... wiseness meets wisdom BY ENA OFUGARA

Our "AKPAKO"  of the day comes from Papa Bemigho.
 Mama Bemigho being very civilized and jealous had warned Papa Bemigho that if she ever caught him cheating, that is the end of the marriage. So Papa Bemigho tried his bestestest. But to quote Jesus "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" and so Papa Bemigho started carrying Sisi Alero one fine "potokri" girl to Protea Hotel in Ekpan. Mama Bemigho with her radar (actually friends) saw Papa Bebigho with Sisi Alero, the fine Potokri yokoyoko skin girl at protea hotel and not only walked up to Papa Bemigho but picked up the phone in Papa Bemigho's presence to call mama Bemigho.

Aproko Egbegbemi: (The catcher. she starts dialing and speaks into the phone) Mama Bemigho, I dey with your husband for Protea hotel so. He is with a fine girl. He drank Guinness and ate groundnut to show he was ready for action. They have been telling me my friends husband comes here with Tseke Oyibo, I said I must see it for myself. They went up, spent two hours in Suite 205, came down and that was when your husband Tuoyo (papa Bemigho) ordered the small stout. If you see am right now, na drip you for order for am"

Papa Bemigho is silently watching the Warri Witch sent by "enemies" to destroy his home. Of course his mind does not tell him that it is he and his cheating that could jeopardize it as then no one can tell on him. But humans always blame the tattler. He ignores Aproko Egbegbemi, pays for his drinks and zooms offf with Sisi Alero.

Mama Bemigho is waiting at home. YES. She will kill him today. How dare Tuoyo? After giving him 3 sweet children. After her uncle put him in Chevron. After...he will see today.  how dare he cheat on her with that smelly ugly stupid girl (well she has never seen her but she has to call her smelly. Do these stupid Warri girls even know how to wash well? Papa Bemigho will die today. She picks up the phone and calls him. He picks it up

Mama Bemigho: Papa Bemigho, just dont bother to come to this house you hear? Just stay where you are. Did I not tell you if you ever cheat on me it is over? Just consider yourself a divorcee. Better not come to this house. Stupid man. Idiot.

Papa Bemigho: says nothing. The lines goes dead.

Mama Bemigho calls back. Phone is switched off

And she waits....and waits....and waits. 10 oclock, eleven, 3 oclock. Next morning. she waits and waits. Then she calls all his friends and none has seen or heard from him. She wonders how she can find out the place of that stuuuuuupiiiid small girl but none has seen or knows her. Papa Bemigho must die today.Let him just remain there.

she waits and waits, night ....morning

And she dozes off by 4 a.m. its been 36 hrs that she has been awake. She is woken up by noises of wardrobes opening and closing. She opens her eyes and in the semi-conscious state of sleep and wakefulness she sees papa Bemigho. She is so tired she is trying to muster up the energy to scream at him and curse the useless man out but then she sees he is silently packing two huge bags

Mama Bemigho: Where have you been???

(Silence. Papa Bemigho is packing his things. He picks up his Oritsefemi Cd lying on the ground.
Mama Bemigho is Livid she continues trying to raise her voice, suddenly finding her strength.)

How dare you Tuoyo? and where are you going

Papa Bemigho: I am moving out

Mama Bemigho is shocked. she cannot believe her eyes nor ears

Mama Bemigho: Park? To where? For what? Why?

Papa Bemigho: You remeber you said if I ever cheated on you that is the end of our marriage? Also yesterday you said I shld consider myself a divorcee. EHEN, so I guess i have to move out and i need some of my personal belongings. I am sorry I had to come home

Mama Bemigho: Tuoyo wait wait wait....

Papa Beemigho. No need to wait. I misbehaved. I did the unforgivable.  I cheated. I have to go.

Mama Bemigho: (she is confused. This is not how she planned it. No. She is an Itsekiri girl from old Warri Money. She never speaks pidgin like all these local people. She has lived her life with honour and grace. Why should she share a man and his manhood with....Bemigho is packing...but she.... she stands in front of the door as papa Bemigho struggles with the biggest bag.

You are going nowhere

Papa Bemigho: How can I be here when I am a divorcee. I have to go. Bye bye. I will come later so we can divide the children.. I will take Bemigho, you will take Misan... or anyone you want

Mama Bemigho: You are going nowhere

Papa Bemigho: But you said I should not even come back to the house yesterday. Pls let me go. I am a cheat

mama Bemigho: You are going nowhere ohhhhhhh

Papa Bemigho: See, I did terrible things. I ddo not deserve to be here. I am a useless man. I am nogood. I am... pls let me pass

mama Bemigho: Pass and go and meet who? You try well well

Papa Bemigho: Shell Ogunu girl, you speak pidgin? Na wah, pls let me pass

Mama Bemigho: I say you are not leaving this house.

Papa Bemigho: But I am a cheat. Your tatafo friend Egbegbemi with her fat Ghana yansh saw me

Mama Bemigho: Are you the first man to cheat? She should mind her business

Papa Bemigho: But...em...

Mama Bemigho: See, I am not a fool. This your style sef I know am. You go form vex comot from house, follow that girl go enjoy then after one month flexing holiday, pastor and family go come settle us meanwhile you dey flex and me, dem pay bride price for my head abi so no flexing for me? The style no work. Tuoyo keep your bag. Your food dey fridge, make I go warm am

Papa Bemigho: Na you dey speak pidgin so Mama Bemigho?

Mama Bemigho:  I get wiseness, and I get wisdom

Papa Bemigho: I don't understand

Mama Bemigho: Wiseness na the street sense. Because my papa get money and I dey go abroad for holiday no mean say I no get wiseness. If I follow you quarrel this quarrel, na me go lose. You think say u sharp abi? Wisdom is what I learnt growing up. Na make our children no go dey fail WAEC make we come dey pay expo money for them make I decide not to speak pidgin. Na from small dem dey straight K-leg. I know you think you are smart now oh. You did counter attack abi? reverse psychology. You try. Na this sharpness make I marry you in the first place. Your brain na tortoise own. But the quarrel, we must quarrel am. But come chop first. I made egbagbafofo and Starch. But we go still quarrel the quarrel

Papa Bemigho. Shakes his head and wonders how stupid he is to cheat on this his wife. His own wisseness must meet wisdom and not hurt this girl anymore.

RELEASING SOME CAPTURED BOKO HARAM MEMBERS...Clueless or inspired? BY ENA OFUGARA

To lead a land as divided as Nigeria...divided by tribe, religion, economics, education, landmass etc is not easy. Like I always have maintained, ALL AMERICANS STAND BEHIND OBAMA TO FIGHT TERROR.

In Nigeria's case, even the CBN governor apparently supports Boko Haram. All the Northern Elder and Emirs have come out to say GEJ HAS DECLARED WAR ON THE NORTH.

 For southerners or for many Christians, the words said in the TV Series SPARTACUS "Kill them all" should be the mantra for the soldiers battling Boko Haram in the three Northern States where State of Emergency has been declared. In our hearts we would not mind a little genocide to go with our breakfast lunch and dinner. And who would blame us? With over four thousand dead since 1999 to violence from Boko Haram, with the gruesome murders of Youth Corpers, Church-goers, merrymakers in bars and outright removal from homes and murder of whole families, our bile pumps more bitters than Alomo.

Add capigeria acquired and upgraded the attack drones from the Isreali military and they were hooked up with NigComSat-4 (Nigeria's most advanced Orbital Satellite). 
That is why NigComSat-4 is entire dedicated to Military issues unlike the other Satellites that are purely weather and communication birds. tion

 But vengeance is not the brief of the Nigerian army. Instead the brief is to put an end to the violence and activities of the group, attendants of which which includes where necessary killing of the sect members, capture of the sect members, liberation of areas held by sect members, discovering and confiscating arms and ammunition of sect members, securing the Nation's Northern borders, and setting up a security plan to forestall the reemergence of the sect.
The Nigerian army has shocked many of us with some of the equipment they have mustered for this battle and they have not been afraid to use it. Reports of air strikes abound. Also the information gathering seems to have been spot on. No one has accused the army of hitting civilian targets but instead attacks have thus far been rightly against these strongholds of the sect. The information is so good that even when the Boko Haram members were burying one of their own, the army swooped in and arrested a hundred and thirty plus.

While totally praising our troops and commiserating with those who have died in service of the fatherland including the helicopter shot down by a land to air missile which the army says are gotten from Libya and I daresay Mali, I urge them to have allegiance not to God or Allah, not to some tribe or region,  but to the Nigerian flag and their Commander in chief. Boko Haram is a scourge to us all, even if the Northern elites do not see it that way

The Northern elites... these age-old viruses and parasites under whose leadership the North has been underdeveloped and who should be hanging their heads in shame and ignominy, manage to remain sadly relevant. They have come out to say GEJ has declared war on the North. These same people who encouraged the fight against the Niger Delta Militants whose grouse were known, whose leaders came out and talked with open faces and who took their case international and met with sympathy, these same Northern Elders Forum that called for their annihilation has come out to say GEJ's call for State of Emergency which in many of our opinions is a year or two overdue, is a war against the North. Buhari has called for GEJ's resignation (make he hand over to you abi? mtchewww).

 However in fairness to the North, the Governor's Forum and many of the Youth Organizations have chosen to make the Northern Elders Forum into the pterodactyls that they are...sadly this time refusing to be extinct. They have come out in support of GEJ and NIGERIA by supporting the activities of the army.

But in leadership, public opinion can change in an instant. The momentum is with GEJ. His career critics are perched deciding whether to be for the SOE (state of emergency) or not to be. They are waiting on a mistake to pounce and side to choose.

Now against the backdrop of the Northern Elder's Forum's charge of war against the North, against the backdrop that true peace is the placation of various sides as opposed to reliance on violence only. As is consistent with all wars that have ended including the Biafra war, World war 2, Rwandan war etc, to seek to kill and imprison all wrongdoers is asinine. A lot of people are mere followers and the target is to capture the ringleaders, choose the ones who are amenable to reason and eliminate the ones most headstrong. The ones amenable to reason are then put in the forefront and granted amnesty and empowered to lead their people to peace. This is the only solution to lasting peace. TO GET THE LEADERS ON YOUR SIDE.

We have seen this with Tom Polo and Asari Dokubo who despite his hot air, we know he was well and truly compromised by the Federal Government of Yar'Adua. Now for other militants who are headstrong like Gen John Togo, they are immediately executed.

The same soldiers that tackled the Niger Delta Militants are the ones in the North right now. The same strategies which GEJ as then vice president must have been conversant with, are still available with a few tweaks. Yes Religion is an opium and it sadly is the main fuel of Boko Haram, it is mine and the President;s belief that Nigeria can eliminate a lot of the foot soldiers and many of the bigwigs by offering the carrot and then for the real zealots, the stick and death.

This is what has predicated GEJ's release of a number of the prisoners and all the women which has met serious criticisms.

Ask yourselves, what voices do these women have? How many times have we seen or heard that women were part of an assault team of Boko Haram? At best these women are accomplices and abettors and imprisoning them does nothing for Nigeria in the long run. Now imagine a speech by the hateful Northern Elders saying 200 Northern women are being held and rapeed in prison. Imagine how heated the polity will become.

As for the males, the Governors asked for them. I am certain they have been photographed and now these governors will attempt to break them with monetary or other offers.


Nigerians must realize that no action by any government or president will be unanimously agreed with. That our religions and regions shape our opinions more than we care to admit. Thus we must try and view decisions from other perspectives aside ours.

Also we must learn that compromise is the only way we can continue to be ONE NIGERIA.

Now what are the compromises on offer and which GEJ must preside and indeed presides over?

For the South, "the drones fly and death drops from the skies on the killers. Even if they aren't wiped out altogether, hopefully it would reduce and we can all have a moment of respite albeit short...at the least."

For Northerners, "it is not a war on us by the President. He has let our wives, sisters and mothers go free and some of our brothers too. There is money offer on the table and we can hereby better our lives"

For the Northern Governors, "a state of emergency is declared and we still get to control our monthly subventions and are still in power"

For Southern Governors, "our people will be safer and can remain in the north and not come and add to our population and problem".

For Northern Elders "Nothing this infidel can do that will impress us. He should resign. Power belongs to us or else Boko Haram should kill everybody"

For career critics headed by Sahara Reporters, Premium Times, Leadership etc "heads we insult GEJ, tails we insult GEJ."

For supporters of GEJ like myself  "Way to go sir. Carrot and stick all the way"

 I here remind all once again the purpose is not to punish but to put a stop to carnage. If the Tutsi seek to punish the Hutus, there will be no Rwanda. If Gowon had sought to punish Ibos for treason, there will be no Nigeria. If the world had decided to punish every foot soldier in Adolf Hitler's Germany, no German youth would be free today. And if America and  Japan remembers Pearl Harbour and worse Hiroshima and Nagasaki, they would not have the closest military alliance where to attack America is to attack Japan and vice versa today.

In conclusion, your views may be different from mine. We cannot all be agreed. It is why we elected a president to "use his mind" and lead us. GEJ is doing it. Let us help him with belief, faith, prayers, constructive criticism and encouragement.

And by the way F**k Northern Elders Forum. Your people suffer because of your greed, theft and feudal lordship and no reason else. LOOK IN THE MIRROR and tell yourselves the truth.











. I

IN VIEW OF THE NORTH'S POSITION..... I take mine and enjoin you to join me BY ENA OFUGARA

I do not know GEJ except as my President same way as many of you. Nor have I spoken to him nor made a kobo from anyone associated with him. I AM NOT IJAW. In fact as an Urhobo through and through (Both parents Uvwie-Urhobo) I am saddened that no Urhobo is appointed in GEJ's government and even the amnesty moneys and pipeline protection jobs  due Delta State is monopolised by Tom Polo (Ijaw), Ayiri Emami (Itsekiri)and Michael Diden (Itsekiri) with no Urhobo involved hence serious marginalization of Urhobo youths for which I can never be happy over. But I have bigger fish to fry.

 I see a more clear and present and continuing danger in how the Hausa/Fulani views the rest of Nigeria and how unlike Awolowo, Tinubu has chosen to align with the supremacists the way Azikiwe foolishly did in 1960...alliance Ibos were to regret (ask Chinua Achebe and Ojukwu, the two people with Ibo interest at heart)

I see the Middle Belters and shake my head in disgust as to how such an intelligent hard-working people can be so subservient to people they are more intelligent than.
I see Yorubas who are Muslim who tell me the Hausas will never allow a Yoruba Muslim to be Imam in their mosque.

I see Yoruba Muslims and Christians live in harmony as my experience in my year plus living in Ketu Lagos showed me, meaning it is not the religion that is the problem but the tribe using religion as a means of conquest and or annihilation of all those belonging to other tribes.

I read and listen to their Patriarch Ahmadu Bello's disgust for everything un-Hausa/Fulani and how the whole Nigeria should be Dan Fodio's "ESTATE" and how none other must ever rule.

I see how from GEJ's election night till now, the killing of Southerners have commenced unabatedly and never considered critical enough for Northern governors to meet, nor of Hausa/Fulani leaders including Buhari to berate and call an end to.

I see these and I feel shame for my fellow southerners.

I have said and will say a million times that Nigeria is a Federal state which means it is Uduaghan's duty to look after Deltans and Amaechi to look after Rivers. That each governor must question his Northern counterpart for every single member of their state killed and why. That if the governors of slain members of their states react to every single death as Americans react to each of theirs, that Ciroma and other Hausa Oligarchs would have taken the lives of Christians and Southerners more seriously than as the chicken/mosquitoes with which they view it now.

Yes na abi??? If i can kill your brothers and sisters without repercussion and even coordinated complaints from your family, why should i stop???

So like Chinua Achebe, I  offer my pen and voice (though infinitely thinner and gazillion times more muted) to the struggle for either of two things

1. A Nigeria that is free and fair to all, no matter your religion or tribe and in which the Niger Deltans have a sense of belonging and can benefit from the oil underneath their soil as Lagos Abuja, Kano and Kaduna have benefited from crude oil not under their land even (not that I mind as long as those on whose land benefit equally and owning 80 percent of it in the name of Oil Block is evil and belongs in the pit of hell). A country where any tribe can aspire to and be president without people going on rampage and killing others not of their religion or tribe

2 A total divide of the country as no one should want to belong in a country where he and his people are treated no better than a "conquered people" (as Ahmadu Bello said we are).


The choice is clear and unequivocal and I enjoin our leaders from the South to make it crystal clear to the Northerners. SOUTHERN LIVES MATTER. Love us or leave us.

And yes, the south's and indeed Nigeria's  best hope still remains GEJ

RES IPSA LOQUITUR...FOR SIR ALEX FERGUSON By ENA OFUGARA

I felt it redundant of me to sing Alex Ferguson's praise. Seriously, how many people retire and the Prime Minister of his country immediately makes a statement and quips he move over to Aston Villa his club? 
The outpouring of praise for the SIR has been torrential and I felt my mere dewdrops in a surging ocean of praise means absolutely nothing. 
Alas I was wrong. Aghomi Gabriel, Omo-Odiase Osadebamwen and a handful of others, like greedy preachers demand I add my widow's mite to the offering plate.
But what can you say abt a man who is retiring with the title? And whose squad perhaps costs half as much as the two super-monied that sit far far far below him? What greater honour is there than to retire with your crown?
Upon his appointment as Manchester United's gaffer (coach) he made a statement that was nigh impossible "we will knock liverpool off their perch". Now who dreams to do that? It is like Tottenham saying "we will knock Man Utd off their perch.
Yes United is no Tottenham but having lost their team in the Munich disaster, it was always going to be a tall order to rebuild the club how much more remove Liverpool as the Supreme British football powerhouse. Surely this was the proverbial frog trying to inflate itself to be as big as a cow. Liverpool was a European and domestic juggernaut no less.
How many years on, he has not only equalled Liverpool's record 18 League titles, but has "muni", (added) two others and Liverpool never looked like they could even compete in a title race with United save for one season.
For those of us who do not support United, we yet remain in awe of this man who will bully referees to give him decisions by always walking up to them and talking endlessly so as to psychologically intimidate as the referees will give a penalty for or refuse against "make that Ferguson no go enter me end my career with his mouth.". He wwill also be the first to comment on an opposing coach needling them as he has done with Benitez, Wenger and countless others. Or he will demean an opposing team by calling them "Noisy Neighbours" or a "wee" club and truly the club will be fighting relegation battles like "wee" clubs do.
Now to the proverbial Mancunian enemy Liverpool, Sir Alex ferguson's dominance of the "Premier" League, has ensured that LIVERPOOL HAS NEVER WON THE PREMIER LEAGUE. Yes, the trophy they have is the FIRST DIVISION and this just galls Liverpool supporters. Thiis is not just knocking Liverpool off their perch but seizing the branch they perched on

Every new coach and club he has wrestled and bested. Arsene Wenger must be an expert on describing Manchester United's tail lights by now....cos he has been well dusted. The Manchester United iron cage battles seem seem like it existed along with the Brachiosaurus and Compsognathus in Jurassic Park. Mourinho came from Porto and a war chest of Genghis Khan. He won the Title twice with huge records broken and made. And Fergie said "give it back" and Mourinho left with just the FA cup in his hands. Ancelotti came, one of the few to win the Champions league as player and coach twice. He took the double but Fergie said to him "give me back my EPL" and Lotti left. Mancini then came with his war chest of Alexander the great, fit enough for World dominance. It took a mistackle by Taiye Taiwo on Sergio Aguero for his "noisy neighbours" to touch FERGUSON'S TROPHY. And with alacrity, Feguson has ordered his trophy returned by reaching the finish line and going to take a shower and still the competition lags. Yes United could very well have started their holidays and even pre-season but are "burdened" by the remaining games...

Now I am one of those who insist Ferguson is a very lucky man. The two Champions League Titles he has can be ascribed to luck. 1999 One minute to go Sheringham and Solskjaer score to make it 2:1 against Bayern after Bassler has hit the post and Effenberg has shown United players what total football is like. 2008 All Terry has to do is score and Chelsea are Champions. But Terry even was going to play a penallty because Didier Drogba had playfully tapped Vidic on the cheek. Vidic took no offense but the refree would not hear of it nd so Terryy goes to the ball and slips and hits the post just as Drogba did during the game and Ferguson is 2 times European King.

Like it is said, it is better to be lucky than good. But Fergie combines both.

I still believe Ferguson was why Man United clicked. Eric Cantona, for all his godlike reputation does not compare with the very best. Arsene Wenger's Viera, Henry, Pires, Wiltord, Petite Wiltord, Keown, Adams were better than the Keane and Scholes and Giggs...proof of which is how the France core of Arsene's team went on to win the world cup and EuroCup much like Barca. Ferguson stopped that dominance. Yes Keane was good but not as skillful as Viera nor is any Man United combination and Adams and Keown. Nor any understanding a Pires Henry. Cole and York are just average club level good and that is the truth.

Then Chelsea, then Man City. Even as at today, Hazard, Mata, Oscar, Lampard, Ramires....who will you compare with them in United? Carrick???????

So to the man who someday the trophy will be named after, to one of the greatest (club) coaches of all time, to he man that groomed Cristiano Ronaldo and Beckham and Scholes and Giggs...to "the owner" of the Premier League, to the coach rightly Knighted by the Queen, we say "thank you for being a part of our lives.

May you be as successful in retirement as you were as a coach.